Domestic Abuse Support Services - Professionals Consultation

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Consultation has concluded

We are currently working with our partners, service providers and service users to review domestic abuse support services in Hartlepool. If you work in a service that works with victims of domestic abuse in Hartlepool then we want to hear from you. Organisations that we particularly want to hear from include (but are not limited to):

  • Domestic abuse support services staff
  • Housing officers / housing association staff
  • Social workers
  • Adult social care providers
  • Criminal justice, including police, probation, etc.
  • Health professionals, including GPs, health visitors, A&E staff, midwives, etc.
  • Teachers and school staff

How to take part

How it works and confidentiality

We are using open environment consultation tools to get the conversation flowing in the same way as in a round table discussion. The ideas board works like writing a virtual post-it note and sticking it on a virtual wall. Please like and comment on other people's comments and add your own.

The case studies tool asks you to tell us the story of your professional experience. These are moderated before they appear on the site and you will receive an email notification when your story is posted.

You can check out our moderation and privacy policies at the bottom of the page.

Closing date

This consultation is open until the 3rd January 2022. Use the "Follow Project" widget at the bottom right of the screen to subscribe for updates.

We are currently working with our partners, service providers and service users to review domestic abuse support services in Hartlepool. If you work in a service that works with victims of domestic abuse in Hartlepool then we want to hear from you. Organisations that we particularly want to hear from include (but are not limited to):

  • Domestic abuse support services staff
  • Housing officers / housing association staff
  • Social workers
  • Adult social care providers
  • Criminal justice, including police, probation, etc.
  • Health professionals, including GPs, health visitors, A&E staff, midwives, etc.
  • Teachers and school staff

How to take part

How it works and confidentiality

We are using open environment consultation tools to get the conversation flowing in the same way as in a round table discussion. The ideas board works like writing a virtual post-it note and sticking it on a virtual wall. Please like and comment on other people's comments and add your own.

The case studies tool asks you to tell us the story of your professional experience. These are moderated before they appear on the site and you will receive an email notification when your story is posted.

You can check out our moderation and privacy policies at the bottom of the page.

Closing date

This consultation is open until the 3rd January 2022. Use the "Follow Project" widget at the bottom right of the screen to subscribe for updates.

Jane's Story

Jane’s* marriage had come to end in 2016 and she and her two children lived alone at their home; the children visited dad often.  Jane felt lonely and her daughter suggested she find a new boyfriend and that she deserved some happiness.  Jane had never used social media before however she met Allan quite quickly and before she knew it, she had rented out her family home and moved in with him.  The children came with her although continued to spend time with their dad whenever they wanted to.

Jane and Allan both worked during the day and soon began to spend a lot of time together drinking on an evening.  This led to arguments and quite quickly Allan started using violence against Jane. Jane had never experienced this before and was shocked. Within the first couple of months of being together Allan had head butted Jane breaking her nose and lip.   Her son saw this happen, the police were called and social services advised Jane that her son couldn’t stay with her while Allan was around. As Jane now rented a house with Allan and her own home was rented out, she felt she had no choice but to arrange for her son to permanently live with his dad. Her daughter left home as she was old enough to find her own place. This left Jane isolated and she missed seeing the children regularly.

After the first incident, the police told Jane about ‘Claire’s Law’ and so she asked for a disclosure. They told Jane about occasions when they had been called out to incidents in which Allan had been violent to his previous partner but that he had not been cautioned or charged with any offences. She didn’t tell Allan about this.   

Over the coming months Jane experienced what she now knows was controlling behaviour.  Allan would grab her mobile phone and question who she had been talking to.  He smashed up several phones.  He would get angry and say that she was cheating on him.  Within a month of the first violent assault they got into another argument resulting in Jane being kicked in the abdomen, punched in the face, scratched with keys, bitten and threatened with a knife.  Jane called 999 and Allan had fled by the time an ambulance arrived. Jane’s physical and mental health were compromised and she lost her job.   Her mum and dad were around but she kept this all from them.  

Over the following two years Jane and Allan’s relationship was on and off.  He was bailed for assault however he was constantly drawn back to Jane and she felt sorry for him.  He regularly threatened to kill himself. Five further serious assaults took place involving strangulation, punches to the head and being stamped on.   As well as this Allan would come into the house (despite a restraining order being in place) and her car was found smashed up more than once.  Jane lived in fear that he was watching her and had to change her mobile phone many times as he kept finding her number and messaging her, especially late in the night.   Despite being in court for battery the case was dismissed.

Jane was trapped; she still owned her own home but had fallen back badly on mortgage payments and there was a tenant living in it.  She had not paid the rent on the home she had been sharing with Alan and the landlord was seeking possession.  She was certain Allan was sometimes hiding in the garden or in the garage during the night and was frightened.  She had a short period at a refuge but didn’t feel that they understood her.  Jane went to CAB to try to get her housing problems sorted and to get advice on rising levels of debt.  They helped her arrange a Debt Relief Order. She moved out of the home she had shared with Allan and into one of her own.  Jane’s financial hardship meant that she asked for help on many occasions with paying her rent, with food and other household essentials.   Sometimes Jane was helped and sometimes she was told that she wasn’t eligible.  Jane found this very hard not least because she felt everyone should understand how badly she was suffering.  

The last violent incident was in September 2017 when Jane was assaulted by Allan whilst out walking her dog.  She has not seen him since and has cut off all communication with him.  Throughout her experience Jane has kept a diary and she is using this to help with her recovery.  Jane wants to make sure her story is shared so that others do not go through what she has experienced. Jane feels strongly that lots of professionals knew that she was in and out of a violent abusive relationship but didn’t maintain their intervention.  Jane feels that the professionals that were around her felt that she had ‘made her own choices’.  Looking back Jane doesn’t feel she had any choice and desperately wanted someone to take her out of the situation she found herself in.   

* Names have been changed - Photo by Valdemars Magone on Unsplash 

Now you have read Jane's story please add your own experience of working with victims or perpetrators of domestic abuse below (please do not post details that could identify individuals).

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CLOSED: This discussion has concluded.
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    Case study - Stone Meadow House

    by Natalie H, over 4 years ago

    Case study - Stone Meadow House

    Anne’s* story (from a recorded interview)

    How did you come to be here?

    Living with depression and being mentally abused, not knowing my self-worth, feeling so low all the time, needing a clean break really, I needed to make a run for it to get myself back, find myself again.

    I was actually referred by a mental health worker from a hospital because I’d gone into hospital seeking help while I was in there. They advised it would probably be best for me to come into the refuge and obviously get the help and... Continue reading

    Case study - Stone Meadow House

    Anne’s* story (from a recorded interview)

    How did you come to be here?

    Living with depression and being mentally abused, not knowing my self-worth, feeling so low all the time, needing a clean break really, I needed to make a run for it to get myself back, find myself again.

    I was actually referred by a mental health worker from a hospital because I’d gone into hospital seeking help while I was in there. They advised it would probably be best for me to come into the refuge and obviously get the help and support that I need. I’d felt I was dealing with it all on my own.

    Did you identify yourself as being a victim of domestic abuse?

    Not at the time I didn’t, no, I just thought it was him being just nasty, just his nasty self. I didn’t realise how much control I was actually under until I’ve came out of it, I’ve came into the refuge. I started recognising things, recognising certain aspects of domestic violence and now I can recognise what it was I was going through.

    How has Thirteen supported you?

    Just making us recognise, making us see that I’m not on my own, there are people out there going through the same kind of thing. I was keeping going so long thinking I was the only person going through all this, why is it just happening to me? So the support that I’m getting to recognise what’s been going on has opened my mind, and made me pick myself up a lot better and faster than I thought I would ever be able to. Just having the correct help behind you helps you a lot.

    I think when I was offered a house, I was asked if I was ready to move on, not to rush into it but if I was ready, I was ready. I’ve been supported making myself aware that if I’m not ready I can come and speak to you, things like that. The moving on, everything’s been done. The communication between the landlord and Thirteen means I’ve not had to deal with that on me own. The staff at the refuge have sorted the majority of the stuff out that’s needed to be done.

    I’m very positive about the future. I’m looking forward to moving out , it’s one of the barriers that I’ve overcome and I know I’m not going back. I know what signs to look out for now. It has picked us right up and put us right back where I need to be, with the correct help in the refuge, being directed into the woman’s centre, going on courses to help myself and to recognise mental illness.

    It’s going good. I would advise anyone that thinks that the relationship that they’re in isn’t normal, cos I think you kind of know when things aren’t right, sometimes people get caged and feel caged, not knowing, or scared especially if there’s kids involved. Being too scared to speak up like I did, I thought if I went to a social worker or something like that they might take my kids away, things like that, but that’s actually not the case.

    There’s so much support out there now, you’re not by yourself, you need to get yourself out of it if you’re in that kind of situation. Speak about it to people, go to the doctors, get the correct guidance, go to a refuge, get the support, make a clean break for it, it’s not a bad thing speaking about it. It can also be a good thing going into the refuge because you can come out at the other end of the tunnel in a brighter light.

    Ends

    *name changed