Case study - Stone Meadow House

Case study - Stone Meadow House

Anne’s* story (from a recorded interview)

How did you come to be here?

Living with depression and being mentally abused, not knowing my self-worth, feeling so low all the time, needing a clean break really, I needed to make a run for it to get myself back, find myself again.

I was actually referred by a mental health worker from a hospital because I’d gone into hospital seeking help while I was in there. They advised it would probably be best for me to come into the refuge and obviously get the help and support that I need. I’d felt I was dealing with it all on my own.

Did you identify yourself as being a victim of domestic abuse?

Not at the time I didn’t, no, I just thought it was him being just nasty, just his nasty self. I didn’t realise how much control I was actually under until I’ve came out of it, I’ve came into the refuge. I started recognising things, recognising certain aspects of domestic violence and now I can recognise what it was I was going through.

How has Thirteen supported you?

Just making us recognise, making us see that I’m not on my own, there are people out there going through the same kind of thing. I was keeping going so long thinking I was the only person going through all this, why is it just happening to me? So the support that I’m getting to recognise what’s been going on has opened my mind, and made me pick myself up a lot better and faster than I thought I would ever be able to. Just having the correct help behind you helps you a lot.

I think when I was offered a house, I was asked if I was ready to move on, not to rush into it but if I was ready, I was ready. I’ve been supported making myself aware that if I’m not ready I can come and speak to you, things like that. The moving on, everything’s been done. The communication between the landlord and Thirteen means I’ve not had to deal with that on me own. The staff at the refuge have sorted the majority of the stuff out that’s needed to be done.

I’m very positive about the future. I’m looking forward to moving out , it’s one of the barriers that I’ve overcome and I know I’m not going back. I know what signs to look out for now. It has picked us right up and put us right back where I need to be, with the correct help in the refuge, being directed into the woman’s centre, going on courses to help myself and to recognise mental illness.

It’s going good. I would advise anyone that thinks that the relationship that they’re in isn’t normal, cos I think you kind of know when things aren’t right, sometimes people get caged and feel caged, not knowing, or scared especially if there’s kids involved. Being too scared to speak up like I did, I thought if I went to a social worker or something like that they might take my kids away, things like that, but that’s actually not the case.

There’s so much support out there now, you’re not by yourself, you need to get yourself out of it if you’re in that kind of situation. Speak about it to people, go to the doctors, get the correct guidance, go to a refuge, get the support, make a clean break for it, it’s not a bad thing speaking about it. It can also be a good thing going into the refuge because you can come out at the other end of the tunnel in a brighter light.

Ends

*name changed